A serious question before we start: Is there a single introvert who didn’t receive mean comments about their behavior, personality, and over-all energy growing up?
If you answered with yes, I’m incredibly happy for you! But I’m also a tiny bit jealous… Want to know why?
I’m one of those introverts who got criticized a lot for being who I am growing up. There were teachers at middle school and later in high school, so-called friends, and even people that barely knew me who criticized me for being too quiet, too reserved, not outgoing enough, not talkative enough. They even had the audicity to call me boring, unnecessary and bland!
Having the knowledge I have now, I still wish I could travel back in time to save my younger me from all these toxic influences that were part of my life back then. I know I can’t, so I hope I can at least help those who are in a similar position right now.
If someone had given me a penny every time someone had something mean to say about my personality, I’d be a millionaire!
Don’t get me wrong, though. Of course, people are allowed to criticize others for showing bad behavior or making wrong decisions. I also get that people don’t get along with every personality type out there. I’m certainly the last one to pretend that being friends with i.e. an extreme extrovert would be easy for me as a very introverted person. I’m not for everyone, and I’m okay with that.
However, this doesn’t mean anyone has the right to make mean comments about other people’s personality and criticize them for being who they are just because they don’t enjoy their personality. As long as you’re still a good person, who cares if you like to read or day or go bungee-jumping? I, for sure, don’t. (We probably just won’t be very close friends if you like to go bungee-jumping all day… I’m a very “ndoor”-type of person.)
So, if you ever find yourself in a position where you’re facing someone’s mean comments about you and feel like giving a proper, but also confident response to stand up for yourself. THIS IS FOR YOU!
What did you just say to me?
People be like…
„You’re always so quiet. Say something!”
I prefer to talk when I have something to say and am not being forced to talk. Right now, there is nothing of value I could add to the conversation, so I prefer to stay quiet and listen.
„You’re so weird… always by yourself! Isn’t that boring?”
I enjoy spending time with myself, plus, because I’m always doing things that make me happy, I never get bored. My life would only be boring someone would force me to engange in things I don’t enjoy that much.
„You are missing out on so much fun you could have with other people!”
I actually can’t miss out on something that doesn’t make me happy! But I get that you would miss it dearly… it’s just not the same for me. It’s also not that I never spend time with people. I just like it to be on my terms and with lots of time for myself in-between.
„I think talking to more people would make you more extroverted!”
Actually, forcing myself to socialize more than I want to is going to influence my mental health in a very negative way, plus, my introversion is also not something that I need to be cured from. Socializing more won’t change that I’m an introvert, as it determines who my brain is wired.
„I don’t like quiet people much. I think you guys are so weak!”
In fact, quiet people are proven to be some of the strongest and most resilient people! We are naturally very good at staying grounded in difficult situations while working on adaquate solutions to arising problems. All of that, often times completely on our own.
„I’m sure you’d be more successful if you would work on being a little more extroverted…”
It’s a common misconception that being an introverts prevents you from being successful, even though there are many famous and very successful people out there who are introverted. It all comes down to motivation, mindset, and confidence and has nothing to do with being introverted or not.
„I bet you’re feeling lonely most of the time, am I right?”
I actually don’t. I do prefer to have just a few friends, but those are very close to my heart, and we engage with each other on a regular basis. I’m very thankful for having them in my life, as they make me feel loved and cared about.
„I heard smiling more makes you a happier person and more outgoing!”
I understand that you want to be helpful, but smiling morewon’t erase my introversion, as it has nothing to do with being unhappy. It’s okay if you don’t enjoy my energy, we are clearly not at the same wave-length.
„Why don’t you have time to hang out with me? Do you hate me so much?”
I’m very sorry for leaving this impression. I don’t at all hate you! It’s just that I often don’t have the social energy to hang out with anyone after coming back home from a day at work/school. It takes me some time to recharge my social battery, makes me prefer to spend the rest of the day mostly alone. I hope you can understand!
„You seem so arrogant & full of yourself.
You should work on making yourself look more approachable!”
I’m already doing my best to make myself look as approachable as I possibly can, but because I don’t feel very accepted or welcomed in this environment, it’s very difficult for me to look happy about being here. I think it would help me a lot more if you would make me feel appreciated in this space instead of criticizing me for feeling uncomfortable.
I hope this comes in handy whenever someone drops a mean comment about you at school, at your workplace or even at home. Being an introvert isn’t a flaw and together we can work on making this world and society a better place for us quiet people!
Feel free to check out my socials! I would love to connect with you over on Instagram or Tiktok. Until next time and have a wonderful day! 🙂