Mental Health

Maintaining a balance: Alone Time & Social Life


As an introvert, I know how much of a routine it can become to always choose to stay at home. Why shouldn’t we want that anyway?

Home is our safe space. We feel comfortable here and between our four walls, there is no need for pretending, trying to fit in or wearing a mask.
Staying at home is effortless. It’s freeing. Most of my happy days I in fact spent at home.
But there are also times when staying at home can feel like a self-made prison. And that’s why it’s so important – especially for an introvert – to seek a healthy balance between alone time and social life.

A balance that allows you to have social contact when you feel like you need it, but also plenty of alone time, that gives you the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want.

If you are lucky enough to have social contacts aka friends, that are supportive and understanding, there won’t be much you have to change other than figuring out, how your perfect healthy balance might look like.

Maybe meeting your friends (or only one friend) every month is completely enough for you. Maybe you have to see them more often than that. Listen to your body. Does the thought of meeting your friends once a week makes you feel exhausted already?

Pro Tip: Check your calendar and see if there are certain days on which meeting your friends would be way too much effort to handle for you. Cross out every day that wouldn’t be suitable to meet your friends or have social interaction in any shape or form and use this knowledge to schedule your future “friend appointments”.

Important Rule: Meeting your friends shouldn’t feel like a chore. And if it feels like a chore, don’t do it. Rather take a moment to relax and chill out and not think about “having to do something” for a while. Thank me later. 😉

But remind yourself of not using this tactic to isolate yourself. Sometimes we think we don’t want to see anyone but in reality, often those moments and feelings want to show us how badly we actually need social interaction. It’s so important to really listen to our body and the signs it’s giving you.

For example: Do you suddenly “out of nowhere” feel sad, lonely and as if nobody cares about you? Often these feelings want to show you, that you have reached the highest amount of “alone time” your heart and soul can take. Now it’s time to get out and meet someone and get the social interaction you are secretly craving. You might feel sad at the beginning, but trust me, it will get better the moment you see your friends.

Balance is the key.

Nobody. No one. Not even the biggest introvert of all time can bear to be alone forever. We all need social interaction at some point in our lifes and it doesn’t make you less of an introvert. It won’t change that you like to be alone. Meeting friends won’t suddelny turn you into an extrovert. But it’s still part of human nature to have a desire of meeting people every once in a while.

Look at the signs and don’t ignore them. It’s essential for an introvert to in order to maintain a happy, balanced and healthy life to take care of the social part of human nature, too.

I know that it can be quite hard to return back to “normal human life” after building up those walls behind which you found peace, freedom, quiet and independence. But putting yourself out there and enjoying some socializing can be just as freeing and joyful as your alone time is. It’s crucial for your health and sanity. Otherwise loneliness won’t just be a phase you’re in but a long-term situation, if you never do something about it.

And I’m very sure that your friends and family would really appreciate to see you in person every once in a while. You don’t have to meet everybody at once. Schedule certain friends appointments (as mentioned above) every month or week to make sure you’re not going to loose the human connection you need to be happy. And don’t forget to look at the signs.

You want to meet new people but you can’t get over your shyness?

Listen to my latest podcast episode: 06 | How to deal with shyness in social settings on Spotify, iTunes or Anchor. (All links you’ll find in the mainbar)