two-lovers-sitting-in-nature

My opinion on online-dating as an introvert

Who else knows those cheesy romantic movies where two people bump into each other on the streets, have a very short and random conversation which makes them fall madly in love with each other and by the end of the movie one is proposing and soon after they get married?

I bet you have at least watched one of those romantic movies in your life and felt very lonely after watching it. How do I know that? Because that’s exactly what happened to me every freaking time.

After watching one of those movies, when all the loneliness feelings are boiling up in my body, I don’t wish for anything more but to have one of those cheesy romantic moments in which I will bump into the love of my life and live happily ever after with him. 

And did that happen? Of course not!

If you are an introvert like me, you’re most likely spending most of your time at home. The only time you go out into the public is when you absolutely have to. Either because of school, university, work or because you have to run errands or go to an appointment, you can’t cancel anymore. Bumping into the love of your life on the streets is quite unlikely if that’s how you choose to live and enjoy your life.

How about when going out?

Going out with friends, hanging out in a bar or go clubbing – where most of nowadays “real-life dating” happens – is something introverts very rarely do, too. One, because it’s not bringing you as much joy as it should do to do it more than once in a while. Two, because if you are like most introverts, you are far too shy to just go over and start a conversation with someone that you find attractive.

Of course, the only logical consequence is to try to find another way. And because we think we are so bad at having a normal conversation with someone in person we don’t know yet, most of us try to find the love of their life online on the internet.

Online dating platforms are the number one solution for introverts who don’t like to go out into the public and ask someone for their number in person or randomly start a conversation with someone they find interesting. It’s easy, it’s online and we feel more comfortable hiding behind our phones rather than approaching someone in real life. It takes less than 10 minutes to set up a profile and you’re ready to date! 

But online dating has its downsides.

Those of you, who haven’t tried online dating already, might think that online-dating platforms are like a magical place where people meet each other and fall in love right away. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that’s sadly not what it’s like. At least of what I can tell you from my experience, I don’t think that online-dating platforms are – at all – suitable for introverts. 

Especially if you want to find the love of your life – or at least someone to spend more than one night with – online-dating platforms aren’t for you.

Why?

I think introverts are far too personality-oriented and not superficial enough to find joy in using online-dating platforms. At least, this was the case for me and after spending a couple of weeks on a dating platform like that, I was very annoyed about how hard it was to get to know someone and how little information I got through looking into their profile and chatting with them for a couple of hours. Also, since dating-platforms became a huge thing for people who are looking solely for one-nighters, it’s flooded by people who are most likely not looking for a relationship. And for me, that’s the biggest downside of all of these platforms. 

All my reasons why I won’t ever try online-dating again:

  1. The majority is just trying to find someone to hook-up with
  2. You have to do so much freaking small talk (what I despise!!)
  3. As a woman, you get many unwanted requests and pictures of things you don’t want to see
  4. There is no way you’ll get a proper picture of someone’s personality over only chatting with him/her

What do you think about that?

Have you ever tried online dating and if so, what was your experience?

Send me a message over Instagram or post a comment underneath this post.

If you speak german and are interested in my more detailed personal experience with those kinds of platforms, I recommend listening to my Podcast episode No. 10 about Online-Dating as an introvert called “Warum Online-Dating für Introvertierte ungeeignet ist”. (Gleich darunter verlinkt.)

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